Funny Stories Shade Shorts 2.0 Page 3
I spent hours on the phone to Mia that evening, and I was also texting my best friend, Matt. I couldn’t decide whether I wanted to go out with her or not. In the end, Matt persuaded me not to, which at the time felt like a pretty good choice.
So Mia and I carried on being friends for the rest of that year. Neither of us went out with anyone else. She didn’t because she didn’t want to, and I didn’t because I didn’t want to upset her again. Me and Summer had gone back to being friends – and I was over her, anyway.
So I’m thinking we’re all friends. But after a few months I started to get nervous, because I started to like Mia – you know, not like her but like, like LIKE her. You know what I mean.
I was really scared of what other people would think, and I wasn’t even sure that I did like her, so I left it. But I did like her. I think.
Then my friend Jamie said there was obviously ‘a thing’ between me and Mia, because we were flirting. So I took this chance like it was sent from the heavens, and the next day I asked her out. Nobody was surprised, she was happy and I was happy. So yea.
One day, we’re in Drama. Now, Drama is that lesson at school where you can just screw around (’cos it’s all drama, right?). But this lesson we were watching some film, and I sat next to Mia, and throughout the whole thing I just got to cuddle her. I hate it when people touch me, but cuddling when I’m in the mood, it’s just the best thing ever. So after that lesson I felt so great, on top of the world. After that, it’s the end of school so, still in this awesome mood, I get on the bus. Then it happens. I get a text from Mia: Sorry but we can’t go out any more.
I was really angry. Not upset; just angry. Not at Mia – at Matt. Why? Matt had been really mean to Mia, so we had to split up. You’re probably thinking, What does Matt have to do with me and Mia? Well join the club, I had no idea either. But I didn’t question it, just tried to fix it. I texted Matt and said he needed to apologise to Mia. He said he’d done nothing wrong, but I said, ‘Who cares? She’s a girl, apologise anyway. And stop doing whatever it was you weren’t doing.’ Simple, right?
So Matt apologises for doing nothing, and everything’s OK again. Not. Because then Mia won’t go out with me ’cos she thinks Summer still likes me. So I spend hours trying to convince her that Summer doesn’t mind. But all of this is nothing compared to virtually the only thing I don’t like about Mia: she is just so insecure. She has it stuck in her mind that she is ugly and fat, when I am telling you (trust me) she’s the opposite of both. I have told her that, like, actually a thousand times, but she really doesn’t believe me. It’s a girl thing isn’t it? You think you’re ugly and fat, and if a guy says you’re not – well, that just means he really cares about you. It doesn’t mean you’re not ugly or fat. Crazy.
Anyway, I’m getting off the story. So I convinced Mia of all these things, and we were doing fine. Then I found out she’d made a bet with Summer that she couldn’t not flirt with me for three weeks. Now who does that? Just somebody explain to me what goes on in girl’s minds. I didn’t even know what to say to her. ‘Like really? Are you actually kidding me?’
After that, I gave up. I don’t mean I gave up on Mia; I just gave up on all girls. They are not worth it. They just screw up your head. Like at school my science teacher suddenly started on about all our exam courses we are starting next year and whether we want to do double or triple science for our exams. Like, what the hell? I thought that stuff was years away. You can only deal with so much.
But it’s all OK. Because you know what happened? The very next day? I got hit by a bus and got killed. Dead.
So that’s pretty much all of these problems solved. No girls and no triple science. Yea.
More great SHADES 2.0 SHORTS reads:
Crime Stories
Sci-Fi Stories
Ghost Stories
Copyright
SHADES 2.0 SHORTS
Funny Stories
by Alan Durant, Julia Williams, Tish Farrell and Finn Rickard
Published by Ransom Publishing Ltd.
Radley House, 8 St. Cross Road, Winchester, Hampshire SO23 9HX, UK
www.ransom.co.uk
ISBN 978 178127 490 3
A Dish Best Served Cold and Jez Fisher and the Case of the Cocky Robin first published in 2009
This edition published by Ransom Publishing 2013
Copyright © 2013 Ransom Publishing Ltd.
Texts copyright © 2013 Alan Durant, Julia Williams, Tish Farrell and Finn Rickard Cover photograph copyright © Coldimages
A CIP catalogue record of this book is available from the British Library.
All rights reserved. This ebook is copyright material and must not be copied, reproduced, transferred, distributed, leased, licensed or publicly performed or used in any way except as specifically permitted in writing by the publishers, as allowed under the terms and conditions under which it was purchased or as strictly permitted by applicable copyright law. Any unauthorized distribution or use of this text may be a direct infringement of the author’s and publisher’s rights, and those responsible may be liable in law accordingly.
The rights of Alan Durant, Julia Williams, Tish Farrell and Finn Rickard to be identified as the authors of this Work have been asserted by them in accordance with sections 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Design and Patents Act 1988.